I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
