The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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