i may or may not be watching the land before time
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
