How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Is this like a preordered booty call?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
