I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
