nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize