she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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