Your tits are I can't wait for
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
