New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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