friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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