so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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