they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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