The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
