My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
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the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
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For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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