my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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