What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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