you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
