sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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