All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
This show inspires me to have sex in space
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
