I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Boobs are out for the taking
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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