I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize