Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
