Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
