I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
