i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
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We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
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The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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