I need to stop coming to work sober
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
