it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
