He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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