There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we made out on top of his cat.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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