Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We're too hungover to prance.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
