i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
