He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
