Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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