so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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