How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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