I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
