It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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