OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
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We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
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Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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