i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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