You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
i now understand why vodka
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize