explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
