I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
