Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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