Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
