and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
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My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
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This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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