he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am one with the molecules
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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