Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
