Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
