i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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