I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize