She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
In America we eat man semen.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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