U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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