you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
